My Love of Dancing (Final Entry)

In a world of responsibilities, pressure and overbooked calendars, dancing is the one thing that truly makes me happy. It is the one moment when I am allowed to hand over control and simply let go.

Those rare occasions when you find a perfect partner within a dance is magical. In these moments, the partner on the dance floor is the mirror of the partner we seek in life. As a woman we easily recognize a good lead and appreciate what he offers.

A good lead is always thinking ahead. He is always protecting his partner from surrounding threats and anticipating their next move, the next step in their journey. Although the man has the more challenging role, he aims to make his partner shine and allows her the center of attention.

A good partner will cover your mistakes and hold you up when you lose your balance. They remind you to breathe when space is cramped. They watch your back and you watch theirs.

Simply stated, dancing is about the connection between two people; the intimate conversation that only they can hear. In a world of noise, there is a peaceful solace in listening to the unspoken.

If dancing isn’t a part of your world, you should try it. It will change your life.

One More Thing - Reference Guide

I put together a reference guide if you are ever considering going to Buenos Aires. It has weblinks, info, addresses, tips and recommendations.

http://www.fileden.com/files/2009/5/20/2448757//Travel_Reference_Guide_Buenos_Aires.doc

Why I Like Traveling Alone

I know people who are adverse to traveling alone. Most of these people have probably never tried it. These are my thoughts on traveling alone, especially as a female.

1. People are extra helpful and nice because they feel sorry for you.

2. Always walk confidently and with purpose and people won't bother you.

3. If you don’t want to talk to other people wear sunglasses and an iPod.

4. Never carry a map. Create a mini map on a sticky. Never look at it in public.

5. There is a time to smile and a time to scowl. Know the difference.

I also have a couple tips on traveling that I now live by:
1. Take snacks and buy PB&J upon arrival. You never know when you will find food. My staple to fly with now is oatmeal, almonds, granola bars, power bars and tea.
2. Don’t overplan. Grab a local paper and do what the locals do.
3. If you know someone from that area call them and get advice. The locals know the best places not in the guidebook.
4. Some airports make you pay to enter and pay to leave. Carry extra cash.
5. If you can bring a laptop, do. It’s the best source of info and not all internet cafes are easy to find. Spend the money on an international plan for aircard for your trip.

Why Aren't You Traveling?

As I wrap up my trip I wonder why I don't travel more often -- why more people don't travel more often? It's almost magical that you can get in a plane and the next day (or same day) arrive in a completely different world than the one you know. I can be sitting in a stale office on Monday and be in a gondola in Venice the next day. How crazy is that?

These are the excuses I most hear. Have you uttered these words? I would definitely ask you to re-think the reasons you aren't exploring the world - and this can include niches of life in the US.

* I don’t have the money : Save. Plan. And there are cheap alternatives out there. Who do you know that you could stay with as a "homebase"? Do you know someone with a timeshare?

* I don’t have the vacation time : Budget in unpaid time off if your employer will allow. If they won't then your employer is an a-hole who doesn't understand work/life balance and should be fired.

* I have kids : Then you should be allowing them the experience of new places and cultures. Yes its logistically more challenging but it is also a gift to your kids. What they take away should be far worth it.

* I don’t know where I want to go : This is trickier because there are so many options. Do you have a hobby? Something you like to do? My hobby is obviously dancing. Maybe yours is sports - what about the football hall of fame? Rock n Roll Hall of Fame? An interest in old cemetaries? You have to like something... start with that notion.

* What will be fun to do when I get there? I'm not a huge fan of planning every detail before I get to a place. I don't like touristy things, shopping or sightseeing. I like to go where the locals go so if I know someone from there I always talk to them. I also pick up a paper when I arrive and see what things are going on around town. In New Zealand I spent a few days watching their colleges compete in a ton of different sports that happen to be in town. I also signed up for the XTerra trail run on a whim. Get there -- then figure it out. That's half the fun.

* I’m afraid to fly : You can stay within the continent and still find new experiences. Also - valium. Suggest for "traveling with kids" referenced above.

* I don’t speak the language / I’m intimidated by non-english speaking countries : I completely understand this anxiety as this part terrifies me. However a little Rosetta Stone or some basic phrases and you can get through most major cities around the world. Most places have signs in English or at least pictures that are universal. You are going to make mistakes. You may look foolish from time to time but is that really what's stopping you?

* I don’t have anyone to go with : You don't need anyone to go with. Trust me. Try it out for a weekend trip and see. You'll actually start to hear your own thoughts from once. (These thoughts may be dangerous for some people). I think there are advantages to traveling alone. You are more approachable and people are far nicer to you. You get to do everything you want and nothing you don't -- when and where you want to do it. How can you beat that?

So, I encourage you to meet new people, see new places and view life from another perspective. Sometimes the perspective is brighter and other times it makes you appreciate what you have. Either way I think you come back a better person.

Buenos Aires: The City & The People

I think there is a misperception about the people of Buenos Aires. The first thing of note is that it is primarily made up of Spanish and Italian immigrants. Italian food - pizza and pasta - is the overwhelming food choice around the city. Half of the people look "white", or what we, in the US think of as such.

Another perception is that the people of Buenos Aires are poor. Although the US dollar goes a long way, the people are not poor. I noticed this most in their love of pets, especially dogs. The people of Buenos Aires LOVE their dogs and you see them walking them along the streets at all hours. Poor countries don't keep dogs as pets and certainly don't hire dogwalkers.

The streets are crowded with both pedestrians and drivers (mostly taxis). People get OUT into their neighborhoods and their children play with one another in parks. You don't have to pay to have your kid play a sport. They don't need a special jersey. They just go to any park and pick up a game.

I believe people are out and about due to Buenos Aires being a city of apartments. There are no houses. Think San Francisco. The families don't want to stay couped up in their apartment and they don't take heed to gameboys and xboxs. They instead are out in the world mingling with one another, enjoying the outdoors in a very simple way. I was at first taken aback by people standing aimlessly on their store stoops. It seemed menacing. It's not. The weather is beautiful and they like to breathe fresh air. Imagine that.

When I first arrived in Buenos Aires on my taxi ride I saw a city of graffiti, cramped living, busy streets, vagrants and traffic. It only took a day to see the city and its people in a new light; the kindness, sense of family, community, culture and welcoming nature. They are not people who smile often but who are physically intertwined. Their gestures show their intent not the look on their face.

I thought about my neighborhood. It is beautiful and looks safe, with nice cars, landscaped lawns and organized sports... but I question what lives inside this facade - it seems hollow and lost. The sense of family and community, lost.

Remember when you were dating and you met a really nice, kind, family-type guy (girl) but they weren't attractive? You might have passed them up for the better looking option only to find this option wasn't smart and was highly self-absorbed? That's what I feel about the difference between BA and LA. We look pretty from the outside but what do we really have to offer one another? When was the last time you talked to your neighbors? When has the whole family gone out and had fun that didn't cost money? Maybe you're the exception but I'm thinking graffiti looks pretty good.

Tango Night 4 - Salon Canning

Instead of running shoes, I put on a sundress and some flipflops and strolled to downtown Recoleta with a book and my iPod. Had a nice day of lounging and listening to music in the parks. It's amazing to me how many people spend time in the parks and how many children play in the many playgrounds around town. They are always full. It's a much simpler, calmer way of life. I also imagine it's due to families living in apartments rather than houses - they are forced to get outside for breathing room.

Last night I stopped in at Salon Canning, another tango dance hall. It was much more in line with Nino Bien; an older, traditional crowd. Now that I knew about La Viruta and their tendency toward the younger tango nuevo, I was spoiled.

I stayed at Salon Canning a bit and then went over to La Viruta where there was mass swing lessons in progress (midnight mind you. Nothing starts early here. The social dancing on Sunday nights doesn't even start until 12:30!). There were three dancefloors teaching swing and the main dancefloor had 3 separate groups due to the number of people. Probably between 150-200 dancers learning swing. Crazy.

They also teach the triple step basic with this little kick in the middle. Super hard if the music is fast. They also teach somewhat bouncey -- or everyone is still so new to the dance, they bounce. We remember how that was, right?

I got lucky and was able to dance with some of the teachers once the dancefloor opened up. I also got more dancing in with the cute swing "french" boy from the night before(turns out not French, Argentinian). The remainder of the night they played half swing and half tango music which was exactly what I needed. Hung out with some Austrians. Another great evening out.

Also - I was told that the best tango dancers in the area all come to this place after 2am or 3am so I decided to stay for the 3am crowd. AMAZING! I don't think anyone would need to go to a tango show. They could stop in at 3am and watch the dancing here. It was a dancefloor full of the most incredible dancers I've ever seen.

VIDEO: Michael Jackson Tango

Because I was so far away this may lose something. If you listen closely you'll here a Michael Jackson song playing. The street tango dancers had put that on as an interlude and one couple started dancing. I love it when dance crosses over its traditional lines. Probably why I love dancing swing to hip hop and disco.

Street Tango Video

Facebook is not posting my uploaded videos for some reason so I'm going to attempt to upload here. This first video is two gorgeous tango dancers who were performing on the street. They were exquisite in every line and movement. For those who dance you can appreciate the footwork and musicality.

Tango Night 3 - La Viruta Part Deux

Despite feet that wanted to disown me I strapped on my new shoes and new tango dress and headed back to La Viruta. Early in the night they played a swing set of rock n roll a la Elvis and I was abe to snag a good partner. Apparently they are starting to teach swing more regularly down here.

To tango onlookers I was a hit in a swing arena. Unfortunately I am afraid they may have translated these skills to being equivalent in tango -- which is quite disappointing for them.

The good news is that I was far too exhausted to care which -- strangely -- improved my dancing. I have been so nervous and uptight that dancing was a struggle. Once I let go because I had no energy, my dancing fell into place (as good as it's going to get for now). I was asked to dance all night and finally had to take off my shoes as a gesture that I needed to rest (language barrier still rough).

The last part of my night I was asked to dance by a cute Argentinian whose english was less than my spanish. From what I gather he is probably a tango teacher. He was really good and I could actually follow his lead more than others. And he asked me to dance a second set!! This is probably the first time I've eve danced tango and "got it" if that makes any sense. It was a lucky ending to the night and I'm thankful for his patience.

Thankfully I brought an icepack to Argentina and was able to ice my back and feet last night (i.e. this morning - the milongas don't even start until 11pm. Normal hours are 11 pm - 4 am). We'll see if my body can handle another day. It has to dangit!

These Boots Were Made for Walking

My poor, poor feet HATE me today. If I was staying here longer I would have to learn the bus systems because walking everywhere has caught up to me.

I had a wonderful private lesson today with Pablo and ---we'll call her Maria because I forget her name. I wasn't sure what I wanted to get out of it but Pablo road tested me and they had some really great drills (for lack of a better term). Body positioning, long steps, reading the lead in the chest - really good stuff. I don't think they were quite ready for me though - sarcasm and giggling when I mess up. When asked why I'm so uncomfortable in close embrace I told them I was worried about bad breathe. "Yours or his?" she asked. "Both!" She translated, Pablo checked his breathe and apologized. Quite funny.

The other crazy thing is that Pablo did not speak English and Maria did. We would stop and they would start talking. It seemed like he was yelling and they were arguing and then she would, quite calmly, translate something into one sentence. I thought he was pissed at my crappy dancing. Then, since I have learned some key words, I actually listened and I don't think he was angry - emphatic, yes -- angry, no. But then again what spanish do I really know?

I then walked up to the main park area to look at the artists that come on the weekends. I watched an amazing couple tango dance in the park. Any frame you would have snapped of them would have been perfect positioning and posture. And they were both young and gorgeous. I am thankful I caught some video. Following this was lounging in different areas of the park listening to different live music - and shopping for art. The artists are actually there. The woman I bought some pieces from today gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek and told me to take them home and enjoy them as a reminder of the memories I make while in Argentina. When does that ever happen in US? Never.

The First Dance is the Hardest

So tonight I went to La Viruta, which Jorge told me was a younger crowd and less civilized. This seemed much more "me" so I was looking forward to it. It lived up to its billing. It's on the bottom floor of an armenian hall, just as random as Lindygroove at a Masonic Lodge.

The crowd was younger, more causually dressed, mid-level skill (so I had a chance to not fully embarass myself) and some traveling onlookers. I'm still super anxious and tense (often forgetting to breathe) when I dance tango socially. It's so friggin difficult and so intimidating.

Just my luck no sooner had I walked in and the first guy to ask me to dance was a man who, it would turn out, reminded me of Jorge from LA but much more stern and admittedly with no patience. These were some of the choice phrases - most of which Jorge has said to me at some point. I was scolded left and right and I deserved all of it...

"Breathe." "Relax" "Dance with ME" "When I tell you to go, you go. When I tell you to walk, you walk. When I tell you nothing -- you do NOTHING" "Dance with your chest not with your legs."

Each song I was hoping he would give up and let me go but he kept fighting the good fight. I wanted to beat my head against the wall and run out. Then, at the end, he looks at me, nods and says "one day you will be an amazing dancer. One day soon." THANK GOD!! It was a wretched start to the night that I could only laugh at.

Then I met a very nice guy from Korea who lives in Argentina yet speaks English. Crazy huh? I figured Walt would get a kick out of the fact that I can find my asian anywhere. In fact the guy even said "Oh LA, you have lots of asians there". To which I responded, "yes, and I swing dance with a great number of them."

SALSA! At this place they mix it up with sets of salsa, a dance I can actually fake my way through. Great fun. Then a live orchestra started playing (I will try to upload video). What a treat!! A cute boy asked me to dance during the live music and our styles and level fit perfectly. It turns out he (Charlie) is from San Francisco but moved here 6 months ago. There is apparently an underground of Americans who moved to Buenos Aires when the economy turned because US money goes a lot further. I wanted to ask him more about this underground but circumstance didn't allow.

I also was able to adopt a new phrase in tango with Charlie. "Pass" - if something he was doing I could not follow I would just say PASS and he wouildn't try it again. Worked out splendidly. Only do the few moves I'm good at and I look like a rock star.

So it was a great night of dancing and has me sad I don't get to stay the whole month.

The Beautiful Unknown

Today my intention had been to take a couple of tango classes, shop for shoes and hit a milonga this evening. I knew there was a cemetary in the middle of town which houses the tomb of Eva Peron however I was indifferent about going. Well I ended up there and it was incredible.

I have posted a large assortment of pictures on Facebook of the beautiful statues found in, on and upon the enormous mausoleums. When surrounded by beauty and loss, you can imagine I had a number of people in my memories with me today to keep me company on my journey. I spent a lot of time thinking about the people I have lost, what they meant to me and what they would want their "house of rest" to look like if they had the same options and imagination. I also wondered what mine would look like. I think I would opt for upbeat rather than the images of mourning and pain. It's an interesting thought. I had an image of Matt on a wakeboard half 3D out of the wall which brought a smile.

I think what struck me most was a recent tomb (2009) where the roof was stained glass. It was a sunny day and the light shining through cast colors all over the monuments next to it and down the dark corridor. It was the epitome of how I want my life and afterlife to be... to shine love and colors on those around me - even after I'm gone.

Never Alone When You Have Memories

I have to tell you that although I travel alone more than most, I never feel alone because I always have the voices and memories of friends in my head. Today these people had their moment in my day.

Rayleen : I saw a woman begging on the street and remembered the lady at the Vatican with her brains exposed. Many pieces of our crazy Italy trip have crossed my mind.

Tiffani : As I walked through a part of town that was rather sketchy I heard Tiff's voice in my head saying "We could see this shit in LA - why did we fly 6,000 miles for a fu**in burrito?". It truly did look like pieces of LA.

Walt : In the middle of all the history and old town charm there popped out of the horizon a massive Hard Rock Cafe attached to a modern furniture store. Walt would have been overly excited at this mini-mall and would want a t-shirt from Hard Rock (you didn't get one, sorry)

PJ : I had lunch at a restaurant next to HOT BOD park called La Moderna. Their logo was the Vitruvian Man. At some point during training PJ used this reference in his instruction -- and I realized how random he really is today... in a good way of course

Mona : It's her birthday and I searched for a special rock for her stream of dreams to go along with to rock from New Zealand.

Jorge : Jorge's voice was in my head during the entire Milonga. I am so thankful he prepared me for the culture and traditions. I also heard him saying "are you going to sit there all night or go out there an dance?!!"

Tango Night One - El Nino Bien

So I'm pretty proud of myself. I took a taxi into the ghetto to a hole-in-wall place Jorge (my tango teacher) had recommended called El Nino Bien. The taxi ride was a little complicated as the guy had never heard of it (not generally a good sign). Think graffiti and dark alleys. Once you walk into the double doors and up the stairs though the place is rustic -- in an old school, gold walls, grandma's house, lots of history rustic.

It is known for its long history of tango and where the older crowd goes to dance on Thursday nights -- also the very seasoned dancers choose Nino Bien. Why I would decide this is a good idea my first night out I'm not quite sure.

I was very thankful there was a table in the furthest corner where I could take some time to scope the scene. It was just as Jorge had described. Guys don't really ask you to dance (unless you're trying to hide in the corner, then they have no choice but to physically approach you). They make eye contact with you across the room and if you hold contact you both get up and move toward one another. No words. All in the eyes.

Then, the other strange thing -- you don't dance the intro of the song. This is when you talk to one another (if you speak the same language). Once the dancing begins there is no more talking. AND you don't just dance one song. You are now committed for an entire set of muic (4-5 songs) When the set is over they play this very strange interlude music -- reminded me of Freddy Krueger meets Alice in Wonderland -- and the gentlemen escort you back to your seat. I am so thankful I was walked through the process by Jorge and that all of my partners spoke at least a little english. I danced with a cute boy from Buenos Aires first -- then a tall German guy. Intreresting mix of people.

My other mission tonight - find Jose Garafalo. I was not successful in this mission. Jose is a friend (sorta) of Jorge's that is a dance teacher at Nino Bien and speaks english. No one could locate the mysterious Jose Garafalo. Oh well. Next time.

Tomorrow I'm trying to hit some dance classes in the afternoon, buy tango shoes and then La Viruta for milonga in the evening. I believe La Viruta is known for a younger crowd. I would be super happy if they played a little salsa; something I can actually keep up with.

MARCH FORTH

It would be fitting that today is March 4th (MARCH FORTH!) since I had to give in to the fact that my work computer is not going to work and this trip will instead be a one week vacation. At first I was disappointed but now I have taken on a new attitude. I am going to make the most of every work-free minute I have, venture out and see what this city has to offer. As it turns out it is quite lovely here (thank you to the sunshine for coming out today. Rain is on the way).

RECON : So now this is a trip to do some recon -- to see what neighborhoods I like, which ones I don't, how safe the subway systems run, how the taxi drivers are and of course tango tango tango. I hope to come back with some friends next time and have everything mapped out with some familiarity.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY : A HUGE Happy Birthday to Mona, my tango teacher and the most beautiful and inspirational dancer I know. Without her I would not be on this trip today. I hope to bring you here Mona -- you will fall in love.

WHAT I SAW : Like most trips I take, for work or pleasure, I like to take the first day and walk the neighborhood(s) on foot. We are in between rain, so today was warm, sunny and lovely. Here are some great things about today. (p.s. what a difference sleep and food makes in ones attitude)

1. I actually saw a woman assist an old woman (stranger) across the street and into a taxi.
2. Parents walk their kids home from school. What? Very sweet.
3. I found beautiful parks and monuments - I will stay in this area next trip
4. Located a gym, pedicure salon and grocery store, all conveniently located within 2 blocks of my apartment.
5. found the park where all the hot guys run, sweaty and shirtless -- and all of these guys SHOULD be shirtless. Delicious!!!!! (everyone here is into soccer and I imagine these are soccer players. I had one stop and ask me the time. I was speechless -- and had Cali time on my watch which was very confusing to him)

So tonight I am going to brave taxi and tango, hitting Nino Bien, one of the places Jorge, tango teacher, recommended. Hopefully the teacher he knows is teaching tonight -- will be nice to have some connection and someone who speaks english. This trip tonight is highly intimidating.

Locked Out

When I arrived in Buenos Aires this morning, highly sleep deprived, I made it to my apartment where the owner and property manager met me. There wasn't a neighborhood that we drove through on the way that I was all that thrilled to stop in.

They gave me the keys to the door which looked like old Sherlock Holmes keys. I didn't know these things still existed nor how to work them. They showed me the place then had me follow them downstairs to see where the outgoing mail should be placed -- then they left out of the front (security door).

I got back upstairs to realize the door to the apartment automatically locks. No worries, I had keys. But I couldn't figure out how to use them!!

I ran back downstairs trying to catch the guys but splatted face first into the security door. You apparently have to unlock it to get both OUT, and in. I had trouble opening that door too. By the time I did, the guys were long gone.

Now understand that every piece of my possession and well being was in the apartment -- on the other side of the door I could not open. I had no money, passport, phone -- nothing. I was freaking out. I tried to remain calm figuring I was smart enough to figure out a door. I was in a severe state of panic. It took me FOREVER but I finally made it in... only to find out my work computer wouldn't work here. Good start...

You've Got to be Kidding Me

I don't really even know where to start.

(1) The 4,428 mile flight from Miami to Buenos Aires - I had the luxury of sitting next to a very nice man who had the most awful breath known to man. It was like a grey cloud of funkk hovering around us -- then, it turns out, he farts in his sleep. He slept a lot. It was not dlicious.

(2) I made it to Buenos Aires highly sleep deprived to find out that my work DSL connection is not working properly. Taking too long to connect so the log-in fails. Spent time with the Help Desk on a fix -- that actually didn't fix the problem. I had to call in sick to work and am going to take a nap. If problem not resolved this will be a very short trip

(3) Since connecting into the internet on my personal computer all my pages have defaulted to Spanish and I don't know how to get english back. I can't navigate a damn thing. AWESOME (not)

Last Dance - Setting Me Free

Early morning. Stormy and dark. Pouring rain. A quiet upstairs dance studio overlooking the hills. Dancing with Jorge. A really nice ending to prepare me for the next step.

My last private lesson is over and now I have been set free to test my skills in Buenos Aires. Scary and intimidating. Jorge was able to impart his knowledge of the people, area, culture and traditions upon me before I left - including how to ward off unwanted advances, procuring a taxi, the rules in making eye contact and how to make friends (apparently if you say "Bush is an idiot" everyone will love you).

It is also summer in Argentina, so Jorge advised me the weather would be warm but it would rain quite often. I told him that this type of weather was very bad for my hair. He agreed and understood - claiming that he had to move to California to grow the hair he has today. Too funny. "Buy lots of product" - that was his advice on keeping my hair in line. Frizz Ease here I come!

Cramming Rosetta Stone Spanish like a crazy person. I figure as long as I can say "I'm hungry" and "Take me now or lose me forever" I should be just fine.

Buenos Aires or Bust - TOP SECRET MISSION

I am well aware that a normal person would not need to travel to another continent to read a book. Unfortunately I'm not the best "life manager" when I am in L.A., so I am escaping to B.A. to rest, recoup and DANCE! I will be spending the month of March in Buenos Aires, Argentina while also working my day job - a job that doesn't know I'm leaving the country. It has to be our little secret, ok?

How does this happen, you may ask?

I was given a book for my birthday in December called The 4-Hour Work Week, which asks readers why we save money and vacationing until retirement at which time we are too old and decrepit to enjoy it. There are many great things about this book and I highly recommed it. (Of course, in true Monica fashion, I was only able to read this book while on vacation in Hawaii with family - see above reference to LA Life MisManagment Monica.)

I learned Argentine tango in 2008, fell in love with it and planned to take a week vacation to Buenos Aires this year. In looking into hotels for Argentina I quickly learned it would cost less to rent an apartment for the month. Having a case of the winter blues and a job where I am able work remote I decided, last minute, to make the trip.

I asked my manager if I could work remote for the month of March, providing as little information as possible but highlighting the recovery of my mental health as a benefit (not a lie). He agreed.

SO NOW WHAT?
I don't speak Spanish so bought Rosetta Stone and am trying to absorb as much Spanish as possible in 10 days. My tango teacher is from Buenos Aires so will be recommending dance teachers and milongas. I will be taking private spanish and private tango lessons while there and also working my day job. I had hoped my friend would be able to come out and join me for a week but with last minute planning it hasn't worked out. I'm going solo.... Stay tuned!